Dying to Live
by kills zombies for fun
Summary: Bella's been abused for most of her life, and is broken in every way. Can Jasper help her out of her abusive home and into his heart?  Yeah, that last bit sounds cheesy...give it a try. WARNINGS:Abuse, rape, cutting, and alcohol abuse.
1. Happy Birthday

A/N: Wooooow. Mhmmm… I feel like a bad person…I didn't update this whole time… Sorry 'bout that. And no, I honestly don't know if I'm gunna update any of my other stories, because I totally lost interest in most of them. Even the ones I didn't update… Does anyone want me to continue old stories or add in my new-ish ones? Yes? No? Lobster? Cheh.

WARNING: Abuse, rape, cutting, and alcohol abuse.

Isabella P.O.V:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID WHORE!" Charlie yelled as he beat me, and tears welled up in my eyes.

Even though I had gotten used to the abuse in the last 10 years, I still cried. 10 years ago, when I was 6, my abusive father and junkie mother were killed in a triple homicide suicide at the 7-11 on our street.

I had thought that daddy deserved it, because he hit me and mommy, but mommy didn't deserve it. She was depressed so she turned to drugs, alcohol, and cutting. She really wasn't a bad person, just a sad one.

Then, about a month later, my uncle Charlie took me into his home. I was so happy that this stranger would take care of me, and he did; for a while.

I had my own room, and he bought me nice things, but he would hug me too long, or brush my front with his hand. Then, one day when I got home from school, Charlie started acting like mommy used to.

He yelled at me, and told me I was useless and that dinner should have been done half an hour ago. I cried and asked him why he was being so mean, and he said _'You think this is mean?'_ and threw me to the floor, making me pass out.

I later learned that he was drunk and had serious anger management issues. I was so sad, because I thought I had gotten away from abusive people, but Charlie was just as bad as my daddy was.

And today, my _sweet_ 16, he was as bad as ever, and getting worse. He punched me in the stomach and pulled me up by my hair. "I'm going to rape you tonight bitch."

I screamed and fought with new-found energy. "CHARLIE STOP!" I cried.

He ripped the front of my shirt and pulled down my pants. "STOP!"

He tied me to his bed and unzipped his jeans. "Oh Isabella, you're so beautiful…" And he stole my virginity.

Happy birthday to me.


	2. New kids?

A/N: Last chapter was pretty short.. sorrrry.. i'll work on making them longer. Tell me what you think about this chapter, your favorite color, and aminal. [yes, aminal. Not a spelling error.]

…i hate capital i's.

o.o

Got a quote from chapter 17 of Addiction, by Closet Dreams.

"_We don't cut because it hurts, Bella; we cut because it __works__."_

Isabella P.O.V:

I woke up to darkness. My alarm clock read 3:47. Tears filled my eyes as I walked to the bathroom to inspect the damage. I cringed when I saw all the new marks. Cuts and bruises covered my body.

The newest, however, barely hurt. I took thing as a sign. A very, very bad sign.

The only time I didn't feel was when I was in shock from breaking something. Damn.

I took a long shower, being careful of what ever might have broke, and making sure I washed off all of the blood.

Wrapping my towel around my frail body, I walked quietly to my room. I dropped my towel and looked in the mirror again.

Frowning at the cuts still visible on my arms, hips, and right shoulder, I locked the door and grabbed my razor blades.

I found a nice empty spot on my inner forearm and dragged the blade across. Blood filled the long, slim line and spilled over onto the rest of my scar covered arm.

I dragged the blade across my arm 3 more times, and 5 on my shoulder. I thought about why I was doing this. Justifying it to myself.

'_I don't do it 'cause it hurts, I do it 'cause it works.'_ The endorphins hit my system and calm filled me. _'Peace.'_

I'd never brought my blades to school, but I figured to day might be a good day to start. After cleaning my wounds, I walked to my closet.

I grabbed my avenged Sevenfold tee-shirt and my black bondage skinny jeans. glancing at the clock while i put on my blue zip-up hoodie and grabbed my backpack.

'_6:45. Damn… Charlie's gunna wake up any minuet…'_ i opened my door and crept down the stairs.

Wary of my wounds, and trying to not wake Charlie, I made my way through the kitchen, grabbed some bread, and sped out the front door.

Putting my Hello Kitty headphones in my ears I clicked on 'Last Words' by Ice Nine Kills. 

'_Here goes the story of a kid we thought we knew. _

_He hid a hate inside, and had a state of mind that put him in his grave!_

_It began with his friends.  
_

_They never noticed the despair in his eyes.  
_

_From the pressure.  
_

_He thought his life was etched in stone.  
_

_Before he made a choice of his own.'_

I didn't mind walking to school, it gave me time to think. 

'_Save your breath, cause you'll need it when you hang from the rope.  
_

_Cause of death: Obvious from your suicide note.  
_

_The last words, that filled the page:  
_

_"If no one will listen, then no one will miss when I'm gone."  
_

_Across town, his dad wakes up all alone.  
_

_Never knowing he was never going to come home.  
_

_The last thought that filled his head.  
_

_"I'll tell him I'm sorry, I'll say I regret what I said._

_It's your life. I'll live my own life instead."  
_

_And he's dedicated for everyday that he made it on his own!  
_

_In his father's eyes he's a pair of dice.  
_

_He won't be number one.  
_

_He's never won!  
_

_He won't be number one._

_His bedroom's filled with emptiness tonight.  
_

_As the silence cuts through, like a knife.  
_

_Knowing he's not there.'_

A few tears slipped down my face, smudging my makeup and exposing my battered face.

'_He was dedicated for everyday that he made it on his own.  
_

_In his father's eyes he's a pair of dice!  
_

_He won't be number one!'_

I arrived at school, after fixing my makeup at the 7-11 on my street, took out one of my head phones and looked for my only friend.

"Isabella! Bella!" Angela called walking my way. "Happy Birthday hunny."

I felt my eyes water, and my mask crumble. "Yeah… _happy_ birthday…"

Angela came closer and gave me a careful hug, avoiding my mid-section. She had found out 2 weeks ago, when Charlie broke 4 of my ribs.

"What happened?" she asked, concern coving her words.

"I… I don't want to talk about it yet.." I said yet because she always made me tell.

"Well… did you hear about the new kids?" she asked, trying to get my mind off of it. I glanced at her curiously.

"No..?" Her eyes brightened. "Come on." And I was dragged through the front door of Forks High School.

A/N: i think i needs a little therapy time. Three things as of right this second. One, I'm in class right now and i feel like i'm on speeed. Two, i'm really upset with my bestie, cause we haven't hung out since before x-mas [x-man Christmas] and even though we have like all~ of our classes together, we don't talk 'cause her bf is there :( Three, my insomnia and bi-polar/depression is getting worse.. :[


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